Thoughts to Think

Why do I reject offers/ opportunities so readily?

My instinctive reaction was to decline. To say 'no' with a smile and claim that I've articles to write/ poems to review/ artworks to paint/ experiments to run/ journals to look through. It has always been easy to dream up a host of reasons to turn down offers.

Why are there so few Singaporeans around?

In total, there were 17 people playing in the first few Frisbee matches. 1 was from France; another, from Indonesia; 8, from America and 7, from China. My friend and I were the only Singaporeans.

It felt disconcerting, to be the minority on home ground.

Why shouldn't I be offended?

"I've been a teacher for three years. I'll be studying for a Masters in University Administration this fall."

"Yes, I've heard. Studying in Stanford, right?' I replied politely.

"Yeah, Stanford. Have you heard of Stanford?"

For a while, I wondered if I should be insulted.

Why are chats about religion so discomforting?

We began with a chat on our majors in university, before talking about our meanings in life. It was interesting, how an Afro-American and a Singaporean can share so many common views.

The conversation slowly devolved into an intense talk on theosophy. He set up arguments that I recognised and, nevertheless, walked into. I didn't want to engage in the usual cloak-and-shadow arguments with him asking questions deigned to evoke a particular response so that he could prove his point. I didn't want to, really, but I did.

To be polite, I said what he wanted me to say so that he could continue with what he planned to say. It was all very tiring, this trying-to-be-nice facade.

So many half-formed thoughts, such brittle feelings. Got to take some time to examine them before I could move on. Or, perhaps, I should just leave them as they are. Pieces of jigsaw yet to come together.