|Galatea of the Spheres by Salvador Dali|
There were forces pulling him in different directions. To be, to not be. To do, to refrain from doing. To act upon this first, or that.
In nature, there are two forces - entropy and extropy. The former suggests that everything tends toward disorder and chaos and anarchy. The latter suggests that everything become increasingly ordered, from atoms to molecules to cells to tissues to organs to organisms. These forces are antithetical; they are opposites that define each other. They can co-exist.
At times, he wondered if these two forces - both pushing and pulling in opposite directions - were existing in him.
He imagined himself being turned into a cascade of atoms, mindlessly tumbling in the atmosphere.