A story of dubious entertainment value. Please try not to cringe.
‘Xiang Yeow,’ my elder brother said suddenly in a monotone. It was three days after my birthday party and my brother was lying on my bed.
‘What? Stop trying to irritate me. It won’t work.’ I began to update my blog.
‘Do you think that Li Ping is pretty?’ The wheat biscuit that I was nibbling fell onto the ground, breaking into crumbs.
Now, I have always thought that Li Ping is a good friend. Won’t lose her temper. Miss Sunshine. Always ready to lend a helping hand. For some unfathomable reason, Li Ping never had a boyfriend before. Then and there, I decided that this good friend have the potential to become an even better sister-in-law.
‘Why don’t you sms her?’ I took my brother’s phone and quickly keyed in Li Ping’s number before continuing to blog.
‘Can you check through my sms for me? See if there’s any spelling error.’ I glowered at my brother. ‘Come on, I’ll buy you supper.’
I scanned through the sms. Too old-fashioned. No one writes like that any more. In a falsetto, I began to read the message aloud. ‘Hi, Li Ping, I am Xiang Yeow’s brother. Would you like to go for a cup of coffee together?’ My elder brother blushed. ‘You sure took a long time to write this. Let me edit it for you.’
I triumphantly showed the edited message to my brother.
‘Are you sure? Do you -’
‘Yes, I am very sure. Don’t worry, trust my judgment. I bet you twenty dollars that she’ll be flattered.’ I send the message into a great unknown.
The next day, Li Ping was blushing furiously when I saw her in the lecture theatre.
‘Your make-up seems rather thick today.’ I deviously suggested.
‘What? Is it really?’ Li Ping quickly took out a piece of wet tissue and began to rub it against her face in a gentle circular motion. Instead of becoming more beige, her face was turning redder.
‘Don’t laugh.’ With a sudden motion, she shoved her iPhone at me, blushing furiously.
Dear Li Ping, the sparkle in your ember eyes is brighter than that of any diamond. You have a nicer voice than any canary. I’m intrigued- Sorry, I’m rambling. I just hope that, you know, we can get together for coffee one day or something…
I stifled my laughter when I saw the familiar message.
‘So, how are you going to reply?’ I asked innocently, trying mightily to contain my mirth.
‘I don’t know,’ she rambled, ‘he might turn out to be some psychopath or something…’
‘And if he is not a psychopath?’
‘I don’t know…And how would you know whether he’s a psychopath or not? It’s an unknown number.’ She tried to silence me with a question, thinking that I would not be able to answer.
‘Because he’s my elder brother.’
Li Ping’s eyes widened.
And that is how it all begins.